It seems that many are using this time of pause to make some life changes. One of those seems to be what has been called “downsizing.” I don’t particularly like that term. The transition from the spacious family home, filled with children and activity, to a smaller more manageable space is not an easy one.
Rather than viewing this change as “loss,” perhaps it is better to address it as a “distillation” of a full life. This seems to me a better mind set, because it is more like the old milk separator my grandparents used to use when the milk was brought in from hand milking the cows. I remember there was a wide funnel with a fine filter in it through which grandpa poured the milk. This funnel sat at the top of the milk container. The milk was then allowed to sit in the refrigerated milk container until the cream rose to the top, leaving the milk with little butterfat at the bottom. No wonder they called this “skimmed milk.” The top milk could then skimmed off and churned into butter.
I like to think of the time of paring down as “distilling” the pure essence of a life well lived, a time for letting the cream rise to the top, and letting the “old blue milk,” as grandma used to call it, go.
So maybe these suggestions might help in the this distillation process:
Choose a space (apartment, condo, smaller house) that is open and light. Chopped-up spaces feel cramped, enclosed, and often dark. Paint walls light colors to further add to a feeling of optimism and make the space you have feel bigger, and try to save mirrors and wall pieces that have reflective surfaces: shiny brass lamps, glistening picture frames, a reflective serving tray.
While sorting through furniture, pictures, art, and accessories, choose to keep only the pieces that are of a compatible scale and style to compliment the new space. Choose favorite pieces or art and accessories that have meaning and also fit the actual wall and display areas available in the new place.
Consider sorting and putting all possibilities in separate places (all lamps together, all paintings together, small end tables together, etc.). Choose from this stock objectively the ones that will create uncluttered beauty in the new space and avoid arranging ruts. For example, try a “bedroom” lamp with a “family room” table with a small “hallway” painting arranged in a grouping with a piece of “dining room” pottery or an antique book on the table. Make a collage of smaller pictures or similar pieces like birds, crosses, horse pictures, etc.
Pare down kitchen utensils, cookware, china sets, linens, etc., keeping only what will be needed for daily routine and smaller scale entertaining. This is a good time to give things you treasure to the family and friends you most what to have them.
There are great causes you can help by giving away what you don’t need:
women’s shelters and pregnancy centers, Goodwill, and Salvation Army are great places to take extra towels, kitchen equipment, linens, bed sets, clothing and furniture.
consignment stores will often sell for you rugs, draperies, large tables, crystal sets, bedroom sets. Give the proceeds to education.
church libraries, book sales, and street fairs are places that will help pare down your collection of books. Share children’s books with new parents or daycare centers.
The goal is to make a fresh space for a new chapter of life that honors the past but celebrates the future with hope and expectancy, making the new home ready for hospitality and full of joy. Keep only what you love and what works in this new venture. While you can make the decision yourself, pass on things to the people in your life to whom they would be helpful or meaningful. Don’t be offended if the things you once treasured are not treasured by your children; they need to make their own memories with their kids. Remember, it’s relationships, not stuff, that matters. Only people, not things, are eternal. This is the time to let the cream rise to the top!
